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May 16, Christian Living , Courtship 6 comments. Why are they so afraid to ask girls out? All the good ones are taken. Girls are like parking spaces. Are all the great guys taken?

Are there really no amazing single women left? Could it be that the problem is that our perceptions are shaped by our confidence? In some ways, the world reflects back to us what we are feeling. When we feel happy, we tend to notice things that will make us happy.

When we are sad, it is easy to focus on the bad news. One of the fun things about writing Courtship in Crisis is that I have been able to interview wonderful single men and women around the world. I can tell you there are a ton of of great ones left. Relationships require a lot of courage, particularly for men who have to take the initial risks. Which begs the question: how do you become confident enough to ask a girl out?

I think the self confidence movement has it wrong on this point. Real confidence comes from past success when failure was likely. Success without possible failure is like food without flavor: it has all the substance, but none of the enjoyment. Also, there are some lessons than only failure can teach. Typically they describe marriage as being like jumping off a cliff into a cold lake. They thought they were ready, but when they hit the water the cold and excitement knocked their breath away.